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[page 1] FOR OCTOBER 2nd, 1968, DERDLIN PUBLISHING CO. PRESENTS: {"The Mathom in big letters} The Mathom Goes BIG! YES,THE NATION GOES BIG!!!!!!!! Even tho' you haven't sent anything in, we have been able to -- FLASH !!!-- Last week, as you must remember, the John Birch Society denied the existance @existence@ of Santa Claus. This brought howls of protest from everyone (7 post cards nad @and@ the the disapproval of the mother-in-law of the director), thus, today the position was amended. According to the spikeman, _if_ Santa Claus exists, then he is a Communist,because he looks like Khrushchev and always wears red. He is used to distribute Communist literature to our impressionable youth, most of whom are already Communists, according to previous statements. The spokesman was unavailable for comment on the fact that Santa Claus was around before Khrushchev. When leaving, however, he was heard to mutter, "If anyone tries to throw a bomb down my chimney this Christmas..." Further developments as they occur. We have been able to put together a huge issue. I've been torturing and threatening people around here--we'd better get enough printable material! This issue shall cost 25ยข @ and will take the place of two, tiny, fifteen cent issues. Typing tonight is one Dain Ironfoot. I'm filling in while H.T. takes some much needed typing lessons. All errors are directly accountable to him because I'm not going to waste my time correcting all of his spelling and grammatical mistakeses (sees, there's one now). And now, here is Hildifons (Hildifink?) Took in the flesh to demonstrate what he has learned. asdededfdedsa ;1kjujujhjujul; asdf fde ;lkjujh H G Y K Hal led us all fall. He dad has hash. Jed led a lad ad led a lad as dusk fell. He dad has hash. Jed led a lad adWell, as you dh see, typing fans, he has a ways to go. fasdf j;lkj he she she us use use as ask aks VOL2 NO 4 SUN YOM KIPPUR