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[page i] <Written in cursive.> Supplement _Page_! <End cursive.>] READ THIS FIRST! You'll never understand this issue otherwise..... It is much more complex that @than@ the last or any before it. Any readers not fully in the club within the sphere of avid letter writers may not (Without Lengthly @lengthy@ (HOO) explanation on my part) hope to understand it. {Image: A small line drawing of a young boy's face appears left of the following numbered list. There is an arrow pointing left towards the face from number one.} 1. It uses satire. 2. It is anti-Phil Helms (to an extent). 3. It suggests club changes. Philip Helms had successfully run (about) 4 editions of _his_ paper - the Minas Tirith Evening Star, when he introduced one Frank Goddard - Alias - Ghan-buri-Ghan. Master Goddard was anti-war, club, _M.S._, almost everything! P. Helms then informed us (after feeding us _pages_ of Goddard philosophy and protest) that his unfortunate friend had become part of a tree one night, as a result of _care_less @careless@ driving on a wet road. Many who had argued with "Goddard" were moved and expressed regret. (I had never read his articles -like so much of that paper. So I was on the outside here!) Helms gleefully announced soon after that "Ghan" was just another sneaky way of getting his views into the paper twice as many times. He was a pseudonym phil @Phil@ explained: me! So - in satire of this we "killed" Glorfindel / Stuart Butterfield. For the purposes of this issue, mailmen were his bane (ever since he bit the hand of the priest that baptised @baptized@ him, and the priest later remarked "You'd better keep that boy away from mailmen!") Those are for the purpose of satire. Helms doesn't understand it (having as he says, given satire up for higher forms at the age of eleven. It seems, even at that age he was more brilliant than Voltaire!) He feels I aim at his destruction. I might at that! Secondly, I have called him a "Commie Pacifist." I have said this because they have like views, not because he necessarily is one. You see, Helms had heard (grapevine, I suppose) that I had printed a recent edition, (I didn't) which I didn't send to him because it was anti-Helms (I wouldn't). He complained to me calling me a low-down, fink-type, dum-bum so I decided that while I hadn't thought of it before, it _was_ a good idea. I do, I guess, think he's a commie, perhaps unwittingly, since he: 1. Denies the existence of God (In fact, almost _anything_ greater than himself!) Similar to the communist materialists, and 2. he defies (Ooog, _defines_) patriotism as graft and murder (honest!) just as our Red brethren do. I call this dumb! My faith causes me to utterly reject him on the first point but as there are no MATERIAL proofs of God's existence (like x = 2y; thus: God!), I must argue this second point. The communists in our ranks reject war and patriotism (Mom and apple pie!). It's bad to kill - unles @unless@ of course (and they never say this) you're in the U.S.S.R. Patriotism _for_ the _state_; what a way to die! _We_ must fight fire with fire. If no one here would fight, but instead professed love and warmth, they would soon be hard put to show it, as we would be Red dominated within the decade. Thus, I _would kill_ to maintain freedom - if only to have hippies profess Love for one more decade. The Reds, you know, don't give a hoot for love, Mom or apple pie. Look at China! Why do men and women risk their lives (and lose, sometimes) to escape Red-ruled Germany? HOO! In conclusion: FIE ON YOU - PHILIP HELMS!!! Third, our club has been dropping off. Some have noted that those who haven't read Tolkien are still people, so rather than stagnate reading one book over and over, let us acknowledge _all_ good book @books@ and try to read a few of them. The Chronicle of the First Great Adventure is not continued here - its writer Gorfindel, being dead. Thus it is with heavy heart I say that that shall have to wait until next issue - after we "find it in his desk," or something. P.S. I do not condemn P. Helms - I hope merely to have explained a part of his. These views are _mine_, go find your own! _Well_, I shall go now. THINK! and/or WRITE! Send opinions. <Initialed in cursive.> s.d. H.T. <End cursive.> Also - Balin: Bill Kaempher; 556 Mildred, Dearborn, Mich. 48128